I keep dating the wrong girls
Stay with her; she’ll come around if you just wait long enough.’ In 1924, George Mallory spoke the most famous words of his life.A reporter asked the eloquent mountaineer why, after two deadly failures, he would try to climb Mount Everest yet again.He was sweet and upbeat, talkative and seemingly driven.I nodded along to his stories as I took bites of my pasta, methodically peppering him with questions while revealing very little about myself.
In my psychotherapy practice two of the most common themes I hear among my clients when discussing romantic partnerships are: “Why do I keep choosing the wrong partner?
One of our most essential needs as human beings is to love and be loved.
Since we are wired for relationships from the moment we enter the world, one would think it would be easy to pick partners that suit us well.
Being cautious when your heart is an enormous hopeful flesh bag is hard. Basically, if you spot anything that in the past has signalled something bad: Don’t ignore it. So practice slowing down, practice managing your expectations, and try to base your hopes on how they act in reality rather than in your most hopeful dreams. If you’ve only ever dated sad poem writing types, why not try dating a happy clam farmer or a folk singer? Don’t romanticize romance, remember that it’s worth waiting for something extraordinary, and then do just that.
Don’t make special allowances because you’re extremely love drunk and horny and because you reeeally want this one to work out. “If they’re the real deal, they’ll hold up to scrutiny and they’ll listen when you ask what the hell’s up with how they’re being lately. Sure you can look forward to finding your person (or people) but enjoy being a person now.
If you’re someone who loves reading even very stupid words, well then hell, you really must read this. So here’s how to stop making terrible dating mistakes. I don’t know if you’ll get married and buy a Fiat Punto. It’s just easy to forget that when it’s been 109 days since you last had sex and you did an audible moan this morning when the bus driver brushed your hand giving you your change.